Hard Obedience

{I’m gonna recommend opening this link in another window and taking a listen while you read…or after if you can’t do both at once 😉 }

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR7VOKQ0xJY

He’s been asking  for some hard obedience lately. 

And it’s not just the supermarket variety.

It’s the kind that’s so easy to brush under the carpet, hide from view.  It’s the kind that requires ransacking the deepest, darkest chambers of my cobwebbed heart and shining  a light on the mess that I try to forget, the mess that’s so easy to hide;  

I simply close the door.

Heart obedience- the kind no one sees but Him. 

I’m sure He’s been asking for it for years.  I’ve just ignored it.  I’ve tuned out His voice in the areas I don’t want to hear Him. 

I’ve made excuses.  

The very fact that I needed them should have spoken mountains. 

But He’s shone the light that I was too afraid, too weak, too rebellious to. 

He’s holding my hand as we walk into these coal-black corridors together. 

And He’s not afraid to get dirty.

Because He wants the best for me. 

Even if it’s hard.

He knows my heart’s cry.  He knows I want only Him.  To live Him.  To breathe Him.

But it requires clearing out the junk so that there’s more room for Him.

He’s shown me that sometimes the smallest compromises make the biggest stumbling blocks. 

And it’s been true. 

The things I have least wanted to be, I have become.  The idolater.  The adulteress.

I have placed my fears, my hurts, my dreams, even my sins, on an altar and bowed down in worship. 

I’ve cheated on my first love.  

I’ve loved the messiness more.

And every time I close that door, say no to His leading, and pretend that everything’s just fine, I cheat again.

My fickle heart. 

But I’m ready, Lord.  Ready to open bolted doors, peek under dusty beds. 

Because I know how good a clean house feels.  I know how bright the path before me looks, when I take away the things that cloud my vision.  I know how sweet your melody sounds, when I take my hands off my ears and listen.

And I know that out of the mire, the dirt, the dust, You create beauty. 

 

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